HUMANS ARE ASSHOLES!!!

Ho Ho Ho and all of that crap.

No I have not jumped the gun, I know its not Christmas yet you assholes, but I wanted to write this well before Christmas arrives as a public service bulletin for those of you suckers with children.

When I was a kid, Santa Claus was god to me. I thought that fat bastard was probably the coolest guy ever to roam this stupid ass planet. What else could be as cool as making toys all day and living at the north pole with elves for slaves? I dont think it gets much better than that. Anyway, yeah, Santa was ok in my book cause he always left me presents and cool stuff. I guess if it wasnt for my parents, I would have probably hated Santa. Well, I'm all grown up now and to be perfectly honest, I think "SANTA" is actually a perverted fat rotten bastard who enjoys having small children sit on his lap.

Have you ever seen the types of people that stores get to play santa? I swear they get all of these guys from the local soup kitchen or maybe, the police department lets all criminals out of prison so they can put on red suits and molest children. I dont have children of my own as of yet but if I did I would never allow some disgusting "stranger" who plays santa come near my kids. Its insane!!! You have no idea who these people are and I highly doubt that they run a criminal history report for the job of santa. These guys could be child molesters for all we know! I know that the few I went to see as a kid had a funny smell on them. How would I explain that smell?? Uh, liquor maybe? So not only are these assholes possible child molesters, they are DRUNK child molesters! Oh happy day! Why are people (assholes) so stupid? If you really want to make your child believe in a ficticious fat elf, why dont you dress your dumb ass in a santa suit and play the character instead of handing your child over to some drunk fruit cake at the mall? I think the reason you dont do it yourself is because its "too much trouble" to do the right thing and interact with your children. Its much easier to throw your kid at some fat rat at the mall and let him scare the hell out of them. Now listen, atleast one of you humans is saying, "hey this guy just said he went to see santa a few times when he was a kid". YES that is true!!! But back when I was a kid (700 years ago) people werent quite as sick in the head as they are now. Back then, the santas were just drunks haha. Now days, they are probably convicted serial killers with a body in their trunk and body parts in their damn santa suit pockets.

Santa used to be cool but for some reason, santa claus is bad now. If you see him flying around with his stupid sleigh, I would surely tell you to aim for his head and put a few in it.

Happy Holidays and uh, you dumb bastards had best begin shopping cause its getting close. Dont rely on Santa cause well, hes at the bar drinking scotch and soda and reading a hustler magazine before his shift at the local mall as child rapist uh, I mean santa.      

Well, its over humans!

Finally this stupid election is done and all of the idiots are in their offices to make this country a comic strip once again. There is something sick about how we have no real choices anymore. No matter which party you prefer, each and every one of the candidates is a complete bastard.

Ok, on to the main topic of this damn post. Have any of you assholes noticed all of the election signs around? This election was probably one of the worst I've seen in a long time for these signs and it is an absolute disgrace. These signs are stuck in every part of the earth it seems and its not just one sign per candidate that you see in a lawn either, its 50 of them in one place and they are all the same sign for the same candidate. Does this really make people vote for someone? I personally wont vote for any asshole candidate that allows his team to litter the world with his or her signs. Its such a pathetic and child like tactic. It takes me back to when I ran for high school office and we passed out stupid little stickers and wore them on our clothing. You damn politicians need to just go to hell and die seriously. ! 

Another problem here is now that the election is over, these signs are still up. These jerk offs that sped along on Monday night to put them up will now take four years to take them down and we will be stuck looking at that crap. There should be a law that says anyone placing these signs will be stuffed in the exhaust system of a large machine and left to die a slow and brutal death. I would love to see the types of people who put these signs in people's lawns. I bet they dress up like ninjas and drive around in a 1972 dodge dart in the weeeeee hours of the morning. I also bet that they giggle alot as though they were really smart and cool for doing such a stupid task for such a stupid politician. What kind of stupid asshole would want to do this job anyway? Is that something you would actually want an employer to know about? I have a feeling that most of these bastard sign ninjas arent paid at all, they are probably just dumb hicks with nothing better to do anyway.

I just thought of a new law. From this day forward, each candidate will have to stuff every sign found up their ass the day after the election. This will probably lower the sign count and if it doesnt, we will know which candidates like it up the ass. What? politicians have been serving bullshit up our asses for years, maybe its time they take some of their own medicine.

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