How Do You Know If You Are An Asshole?
Its a question that I have asked myself many times. If all humans are assholes and I'm a human does that not make me an asshole too? Well, I guess the answer has to be yes because I am indeed a human. Since I now find myself having to call myself an asshole, I decided to work on a new scale to lower my "asshole" status to a lower more sweet and loveable asshole status.
Now since we are all assholes, this must mean that there are larger assholes than just us normal assholes. When I think of a true red-blooded asshole I think of the stupid bastard that makes fun of me when I trip and fall on the sidewalk instead of asking if I am ok. Or, the fat ass lady at the grocery store who is complaining that I just took the last frozen pizza when she should be in the "jenny craig" section buying noodles or something. What about that stupid little idiot kid who thinks its funny to throw rocks at your car when he should be at home getting his ass kicked by his damn parents.
So sure we are all assholes but when it comes right down to it, some of you have perfected the art of being the ultimate assholes and it makes us normal little assholes look a whole lot better than you.
Next time that big asshole laughs at you or makes fun of you for your shoelaces being un-tied, walk up to him/her and be sure to thank them for being really good at making us look so great. So dont be sad that you are indeed an asshole. You cant help that you are a human.
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